This last week has really been a hard one. Maybe it's because Randy was out of town, or because I did WAY to much, or maybe it was because my appointment with the surgeon opened up more questions than it answered. Regardless of the WHY, it's the WHAT that made an impact.
You see, keeping my house in order has become pretty much the bane or my existence! The boys started out helping in every way, but as time has gone by, and I have gotten a little more mobile, they seemed to be slacking off a bit. The frustration of not being able to do just exactly what I want to do, coupled with the added stresses of the last few days, took me to a place I'm not proud to talk about.
In an attempt to get their attention, I threw that typical "I need more from you boys" mom fit that we have all had from time to time. The difference this time was that it got out of hand and I fought dirty. With Randy out of town the dogs had not been waking me up to go out at night. Instead, they decided to sneak off to the back bedroom to handle their business. Well, I had had my fill of cleaning up doggy accidents so I did it! I said we were getting rid of them. Once it was out of my mouth, the reaction it brought gave me a strange sense control. I have felt out of control for so many months that I grabbed a hold of it with both hands!
Do you ever do that? Not just take things too far, but take them so past far that far is no longer even in sight? Why do we do that? Why is our need for control so overwhelming? Why do we give it so much power?
I'll tell you why... because we are human! Clinging to our own abilities is in our nature, while clinging to God is not something we do with ease. I'm not saying it's foreign to us, because we all have that need and desire to draw to Him, it's just not easy.
**Insert that all too common saying here..."If it were easy then everyone would do it".
Well I disagree, I think it IS easy, it's US who make it hard! Whether we like to admit it or not, worldly desires are very appealing. It takes a conscience effort to turn from the world and all of it's evil. That's right I said evil! The material needs are, in my opinion, the least of our worries when it comes to this world. I believe it hinges much more on pride, and pride is most definitely an EVIL!
Pride will make you do some crazy things and assure you that anything that benefits YOU is good. Well folks, I'm here to bust our bubble! Pride will never lead you to the Father! The only thing that will do that is laying EVERYTHING down at the foot of the cross.
So next time you feel pride sneaking in, whether it's thinking how great you are at a task or how good you are at your career, or yes, even thinking empty threats will give you the power to turn all eyes on you, I encourage you to take a step back and drop it all right then and there.
Then I encourage you to RUN! Run to the Father! Take refuge in Him and let Him remove that pride from you life!
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